Begrudgingly, my wife and I recently purchased an iPhone for our 12-year-old.

I didn’t want to. Heck, I didn’t get my first mobile phone until I was around 24 or 25. But that’s a different story.

However, with him being in middle school and involved in sports and such, we figured it would be a necessary evil should he need to reach us. I mean, when was the last time you saw a pay phone?

Now several months into this venture, it’s safe to say I have learned a lot from all the text shortcuts the young’n uses.

LOL – laughing out loud.

GTG – got to go.

IKR – I know, right?

BRB – be right back.

CTN – can’t talk now.

HMUL – hit me up later.

TY – thank you.

YW – you’re welcome.

WTG – way to go.

WAY – where are you?

PIR – parents in room.

Although I question the last one, I guess they are useful.

Maybe even practical.

And they make sense when he’s in a hurry (reads: too lazy to type out the whole word).

But I couldn’t help but let my sick mind go to work and come up with some texting shortcuts for folks in my age range. Not going to give it away, but I grew up on Saturday morning cartoons and a bowl of cereal, newscasts when the weather was the very last thing they did, “Mork and Mindy,” and “Battle of the Network Stars.”

So if I ever text you one or more of these, you’ll know what I mean.

TBOA – threw back out again.

CTM – constipated, taking Metamucil.

TTYL – too tired, yawning lots.

NPR – need prescription refilled.

BRB – bunion really bad.

HMU – hearing messed up.

GG – got Geritol?

EBS – early bird special.

WTB – what’s this bitcoin?

RFB – ready for bed.

OIH – oy it’s hot.

FGB – finally getting bifocals.

HDTRW – how does this remote work?

LMN – let me nap.

WDA – wifi down again.

NMF – need more fiber.

WHTG – what’s hitting the griddy?

That’s all of them. GTG. EBS.